Wednesday, March 17, 2010

If anything can go wrong, it will

Do you sometimes feel as though you are carrying the entire world on your shoulders? Do you sometimes feel as though everything is going wrong in your life? Do you sometimes feel as though you are alone and that no one will ever be able to understand what you are dealing with? Do you sometimes feel as though God is punishing you? Do you sometimes feel that everything good that you try to do in life always goes bad? Do you sometimes feel that you never should have gave that guy the time of day because you knew that you were way too good for him? Do you sometimes feel that your closest friend, really isn't your friend at all? Do you sometimes feel like giving up and throwing in the towel? Do you sometimes feel like turning away from God because he is not answering your prayers when YOU want him to answer them? Well, if you have ever felt this way, please read on.....

Everything that was mentioned above is all a part of life and the tests that you must overcome in order for you to grow spiritually. How are you going to be a witness for God if you have never witnessed anything? The trials in life are for your good people. You just have to turn all your problems and setbacks over to God. You will not be able to handle them by yourself. I once was told by a very dear friend that God doesn't just pick on average people. Therefore, if you feel as though you are continuously experiencing life at is worse, you can rest assured knowing that God has a magnificent, never failing plan for your life. You will win in the end. If anything can go wrong, it will. Simply because the devil is soooooooooooo busy trying to win your soul. You want to make sure that you are the type of woman that constantly strives to do right and live for God. Because only through Christ are all things possible. Keep your head up and press on. You are not the only woman feeling burdened and alone. Trust me.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


There are times when you just have to humble yourself and your spirit, and just say "O.K." I hope that you understand what I mean. There are people in this world that have what you call a "listening problem." They feel as though they know everything and that they are right about everything. It is imperative for you to simply express your opinion and let it be when dealing with individuals as such, or else they will drive you bananas!

Saying "O.K." does not exemplify weakness at all. It actually exemplifies strength. It takes a strong-minded person to just keep quiet and hold their opinion to themselves. My husband is one of those people. I admire him for being that way. I guess that is one reason why I truly respect and love him. It would be a wise idea to keep people that can say "O.K." on your team. They really help balance the world out.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

"Girl Listen"

Now, for those of you that have fragile eyes that can't appreciate a woman for keeping in 100, I suggest you close out of this blog right now. On the other hand, for you steadfast women, that can take all of life's punches and still press on, this blog is for you.

"Girl Listen" is the phrase that my friends use when they are about to share some real deep stuff with me. My girls value my opinion because they know, Toni Lynn is going to give it to them RAW. I don't sugarcoat anything because I love my friends. I want them to know that. Whenever I give feedback to a given situation that I am presented with, I empathize before I rationalize the situation. I keep my girl's best interest at heart at all times and I refrain from giving them direct orders. Who the heck am I to tell my girl what she "Needs" to do. It is her life and she will ultimately make her own decisions.

Okay, to the important stuff. It perturbs me to talk to women that only want to share the good things that are taking place in their lives with other women. They want to brag about the nice car they drive, the nice rags they possess, the good job they have, the huge house they live in and so on and so on. Their goal is to paint this "Fantasy Life" to other women so that they can look and feel as though their life is just peachy. I'm sure that you know women like that. We all do. Now, "Girl Listen!" Underneath that BMW you drive, underneath those Gucci pumps you rock, underneath that $150,000 a year job you have and that gigantic house you and your husband live in....YOU STILL BLEED LIKE I BLEED! Stop pretending like your life is perfect girl! No one has the perfect life. No woman is better than another! We all experience the same hurts that come from the men in our lives, our children, and from other scandalous, miserable women that despise seeing us happy when we have a good thing going. "Girl Listen," don't only share those good things that you experience. Share the bad things too. You never know what the next woman may be going thru. Don't just sit back and listen to other women cry on your cry with them. Share your hurts. Help rebuild each other. We as women need support. It is a cruel world out here and we as women endure so much, but yet and still we have to remain strong for the sake of our children.

"Girl Listen," why is it that when I share my life experience with women and ask them not to breathe a word to anyone else, they go right back and Gossip about what I asked them not to discuss. Get your bibles and read what the good book says about Gossip. Gossip is not recognized as the Character of God. People vent and open up because their burdens may be too heavy to carry alone. And instead of you being there to Help, you end up making their burdens even heavier and harder to bear. "Girl Listen," Loyalty takes you a long way in life. When you are recognized as being a loyal person, your spirit becomes vitally attractive. Loyalty in these days and times goes a long way.

"Girl Listen," have an open ear. Don't judge anyone. Be real. Open up and stop painting this perfect picture. You don't have to hide anything. We are only human and we all experience hard times. The thing that truly matters though is your character development following those bad times. Every woman has had their heart broken, every woman has been lied too, every woman fixes herself up real good to sometimes hide the hurt and pain inside, every woman carries a load. "Girl Listen," I'm one of those women. Are you?

God's Grace & Mercy will set you Free!!!

The Gift

My life is exactly what it is. It's my life. I don't live my life to please or to appease anyone on this earth. I strive to live to serve as a vessel for God. It gets hard at times, and I tend to fall short. However, I just continue to press on because the easy thing to do would be to simply give up. And Toni Lynn Valencia does not give up on anything or anyone that she truly believes in.

There are a number of people that have let me down in my life. Some more than others, but that's neither here nor there. It doesn't matter. It's the past. I can't go back and change it, so why waste the time pondering over it. People, the past is what it is...THE PAST! I am guilty of dwelling in the past at times, but lately God has been whispering to my spirit informing me that I need to live for today. Today is his gift to me. It is "The Present." A present is a gift right? Who would refuse a gift? Especially a gift from God.

Take the time to be appreciative instead of complaining about the things that you don't have. To have a breath in your body this day is the greatest gift a person could receive. Simply because God did not have to give it to you. This was the "present" that was given to you this morning. Live for the present. Be the best you can be. Make everyday count and Lord knows, stop worrying about things that you have no control over. Because if you don't stop, those things will control you.

Blog for March 10th will be: "Girl Listen"

God's Grace & Mercy will set you free!!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Your walk, Your stride

Every time I would hit the runway, I would receive compliments regarding "My Walk." The intent of my walk was to of course appeal to the designer of choice, but to also communicate to the audience that I was a strong, confident, never-failing woman. I could walk in anything, no matter how high the heel or the length of the dress. I had my own way of "Rockin It." There were several instances following a fashion show that members of the audience would come up and ask me where I learned to walk the runway. Each time, I would tell them that I practiced day in and day out in my mirror to perfect my walk to my satisfaction. I informed them that I watched one particular woman walk at a fashion show before that absolutely intrigued me. From that day forward, I conditioned my mind to want to walk better than she. Not because I felt she was my competition, but because she truly had the walk and stride of a "BEAST" on the runway.

I'm only human. I'm just a woman. But the thing is, I never know who's watching me or who looks at me as a mentor or a role model. This is why, on the street, I have to be conscience of "My Walk, My Stride." People admire me that I never knew looked upon me in such a way. One particular day, a few years back, a woman told me, "Toni, people who don't know God are gonna know God because they know you." When she told me that, I guess you can say a light bulb popped on in my brain. That day I finally realized the importance of conducting myself in such a way that communicates loyalty, humbleness, and love to every individual that I come into contact with. This is what life is all about. We are placed here to help others along their walk. When the road gets too tough, we have to walk up and pick that person up, and stride along together. Your walk reflects the inner you, so work to perfect it. Watch your tongue, maintain your temper, remain positive, stay open-minded, forgive, and most importantly...LOVE!

I consider my walk as FIERCE! LOL!! No one can touch it. My trials and tribulations, past hurts and fears, former insecurities, and most importantly my passion to succeed and become the person that God wants me to be has contributed to MY walk. Therefore, I'm one walking BAD MAMMA JAMMA!!! I suggest you perfect your walk as well. You never know whose watching, or who may one day want to walk just like you:-)

God's Grace & Mercy will set you FREE!!!!

Sunday, March 7, 2010


Yesterday, I sent a co-worker an email that expressed to him my sincere gratitude for helping me. He responded back by saying that he will always be there to help me because he considers me as family, and also because he knows that I genuinely appreciate the help. As I read his reply, my eyes began to water.
This past week has indeed been one of those weeks. There was a ton of laughter shed this week along with a ton of tears. Everything that you encounter in life is a learning experience. Basically, a mere time to grow and improve your character. You cannot sit back and just allow the world to pass you by while your stuck behind attempting to play catch up. I have been blessed to experience many trials and tribulations in my life. Yes, I consider them "blessings" because if I had not experienced them, I would not be the woman that I am today, nor would I be writing this blog in the attempt to help you. Now, don't get me wrong, the trials were painful and they sometimes come back to hunt me. However, I try to condition my mind to know that God intended the pain that I experienced to benefit me. When I do that, I just smile, simply because I have developed into an amazing woman with an amazing heart that is going to press forward to my amazing future with my head UP HIGH!
Trials and Tribulations (T-A-T) are necessary. They require you to turn to God and to think deeply in regards to the next step you are going to take in your life. People, remain positive and use your heart to the fullest when conquering your trails and tribulations. Refrain from being irrational and unapproachable because God will send people in your life at the right time to help you cope. You have to be approachable in order to receive the message that God sends through those individuals.
God put it on my heart to begin a blog today. I don't know how long this will last, nor do I know what the future holds. One thing is for certain...I must be obedient. And that is what I intend to do. So if this blog has helped you today, please comment. If I can help at least one person along the way, my living will not be in vain.

God's Grace & Mercy will set you free!